The Morning Huddle

How the 4 year old and 2 year old plan their day.  I imagine this takes about 45 seconds every morning.

4YO:  Ok, she is in the bathroom.  Here's the deal.  What do you want for breakfast?

2YO:  NUTELLA!!!

4YO:  Great, so as soon as our feet hit the bottom step I want you to start screaming "I WANT NUTELLA!!!"  Do it 76, no make that 1,432 times non-stop.

2YO:  1,432..?

4YO:  Oh yeah, you can't count that high.  Just scream it until after she gives you the sandwich.

2YO:  Mommy like coffee first?

4YO:  Don't go soft on me!  This is a team effort!

2YO:  Otay.

4YO:  So, while you are screaming "NUTELLA!!!" I will go get the loudest truck I have and run it back and forth on the kitchen floor and yelling something, I haven't decided yet.

2YO:  How much breakfast?

4YO:  Great question - let's do 2, no, 3 bites then immediately get down, run into the living room and yell "TV!!!"

2YO:  MAX AND RUBY!!!

4YO:  No.  But good start, let's not agree on anything to watch.  Actually, after a few minutes we'll do "Umizoomi House!"  She hates that one.  Have you seen her eyes roll when we make her play it.  Hilarious.  Ok, so tv is covered.  Now, after we let her have 1/2 a cup of coffee let's play pillow fight and you slightly push me and I will freak out.

2YO:  Otay, push.

4YO:  Right.  Then as soon as I am done freaking out and she leaves to get me a tissue, you start freaking out.

2YO:  What I freak out . .

4YO:  Doesn't matter.  Anything.  Maybe you have decided the earth tones in the living room are no longer to your taste.

2YO:  Otay.

4YO:  So, keep freaking out until you start seeing that twitch on her face then dial it back a bit.  Now, Daddy is going out of town tonight . .

2YO:  I WANT DADDY!!!!!

4YO:  Focus! We both want Daddy and trust me, we will let her know in no uncertain terms in a variety of ways.  Now, when she takes us up to put us to bed and it gets real quiet I want us to take turns saying "What's that noise?"

2YO:  What noise?

4YO:  There will not be a noise, just say it.  She gets all scared and it amuses me.  After the lights are out and I ask about 47 more questions I will set my internal alarm for 1:30am to get in bed with her, you set yours for . . . let's see 1:30, it will take her about 5 minutes to get back to sleep barring any zombie dreams she keeps going on and on about (whatever they are) maybe let her get 8 1/2 minutes, so set yours for 1:43ish am then get in the bed on the other side - real close like and make sure you have a good arms length between you and the edge of the bed - I'll do the same.  Feel free to stay awake talking about nonsense, like you do.  I gotta sleep.  Got it?

2YO:  NUTELLA!!!  

4YO:  Not yet, feet hit the bottom step.  Ok, let's do it.