If the shoe fits, or doesn't . . . .

So one of the myriad of bizarre things that can happen when one births a child is that one's feet can grow up to a 1/2 size.  I can personally say that this le fact.  After two kids I have gifted shoes to close friends and donated some to charity.  The hardest ones to see leave were a pair Dansko mules (although my mom has them and I get to see her wear them, so there's that) and my glorious Frye boots that I gave to a friend but was so sad to see them go that I told her under no circumstances is she to wear them in my presence.  For a while I was mad because my shoe collection was depleted by half but now there is another problem that needs to be addressed.

Should your feet grow, for whatever reason, know that you can always get new shoes.  The one thing that takes a very, very, very, very long time to deal with is working with your "new" feet.  My feet were the same size from approximately high school until I was 37.  That is, what, over 20 years of working with the same size feet.  Now, add a few centimeters and trouble starts.  One day you are walking around not harming anyone, minding your own business then next you are jamming your toes on furniture and door jams, shoving your toenails up through your foot and into your knee and trying not to curse like an 80's stand-up comic because your three year old is always around and always, always listening.  Also, it suddenly becomes a pain in the ass to put on pants! And undies!  If I had a nickle for every time my frickin' toe got caught on/in pants . . . Also, my poor, poor doggies.  I have two quite large older dogs that lie around a lot and I am constantly walking over or around them.  Now with these extra centimeters I have accidentally nudged them, slipped on the golden's tail and tripped over them enough to look into some supplemental health insurance.  This has been going on for three years now and I am still having issues.  Oh, and for the love of all that is Holy, do not let me be near anything breakable or hot liquids if I have on socks THEN put on pants.  Those extra 2 millimeters are enough for me to need a spotter or a neck brace.