So, the three year old's new thing is exploring his nostrils, extracting anything interesting he may find then commencing with a show-and-tell session. We call them "bogies" because I love Harry Potter, think "troll bogies" are disgustingly hilarious and just plain prefer "bogies" to "boogers." The other day he picked one, on the smallish size, at Target then proceeded to give the cart a nice bogie massage. So those anti-bacterial wipes at the entrance? Get one. Actually, get four. You know what, just buy your own cart.
Last night while watching "Olivia" he turns to me and says "Mommy, I have a bogie."
Me: "Ok, let me get a tissue."
Him: "I like this bogie."
Me: "Um, ok, well here is a tissue."
Him: "I like to eat the bogies."
Luckily I swooped in with the tissue and got the bogie and probably the top layer of skin off his index finger before he could eat it. Tonight after doing extensive research (about 5 minutes) I found this article. I knew there had to be some sort of "-xis," "-mania," or "-agy" associated with this ick but had NO idea it was this scientific. Oh, and yes, I did start to throw up a little bit in my mouth while reading the article. I bet the same people who buy into this and are over the age of 4 (at least I hope that is when most kids stop this mining) are the same people who drink their urine and use the natural grease from their hair as a moisturizer.
Today it was: "Mommy, I have a bogie."
Me: "Ok, let me get a tissue." (note, every bogie conversation starts this way, every time. Unless there are absolutely no tissues around and I have to do the repulsive mommy move of wiping it . . . never mind, I am not admitting to that.)
Him: "I want to put it back."
Me: "You want to put the bogie back in your nose."
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Why?"
Him: "He has friends in there."
Me: "Really?"
Him: "Yes, they are resting."
So now we know that bogies have friends, can be active or sleeping, and act as an amuse bouche for the toddler/preschool set.
Showing posts with label Things My Kids Should Not Find Out About. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Things My Kids Should Not Find Out About. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
Designer Jeans at Target!!
So a few weeks ago I learned from the Today Show that William Rast was putting out a line of clothes for Target and they would be in stores on December 19th. Now I have never heard of Mr. Rast and his clothing line before but I figure if Bobbie Thomas was excited about it then, dammit, I would be too! Knowing that I would forget this bit of information before the mid-day news came on, I programmed my phone to remind me of this event. William Rast jeans normally sell for about $150 to $200 which is a lot more than I would pay for jeans but that is me. Although if I can ever get close to my college size I am so going out and buying a pair of Lucky jeans. Until then the ones I have do quite nicely thank you very much. So a few days ago I am going to Target for completely unrelated items when I saw my phone had a little icon that I normally do not see. It was the reminder. So I find the jeans, try them on and was all "Yeah, I can see it." I get up to the cash register (although they should probably call them credit card registers these days) and as I am putting the jeans on the belt I notice the $49.99 tag. Now that is a much better price than $200.00 for jeans but $50? For jeans? At Target? There should be no item of clothing in Target that is more than $40.00 and that should be a winter coat. I did not buy the jeans. My children need Christmas. Then I get home and look up this designer and see the price range of his jeans and notice that he sells jean shorts for $165. Here is your visual:
http://http//www.williamrast.com/SCARLET_SHORT/pd/np/12/p/1008.html
http://http//www.williamrast.com/SCARLET_SHORT/pd/np/12/p/1008.html
Now I feel like an old person because I am all "why would anyone pay that much money for that little material when you can get the whole jeans for less?!?!?!" Then my inner 16-year-old hung her head in shame and slowly walked away muttering and cursing under her breath. I am pretty sure I saw an eye-roll.
Why I Should Not Be Allowed Out After 6pm or Why I Need To Get Out More
So the other week I had a rare night out on the town. Maybe not rare, more medium-well. Ha! You get?!?!? Like steak?!? Nevermind. And not so much "out on the town" as over to a former co-worker's house for a Christmas party then to a nearby bar for the after-party. By after-party I mean we got there at 9pm and I was home by 11pm. Makes the days when I did not start getting ready to go out until 10pm then played pool until bars closed at 2am then it was off to Huddle House or the Awful Waffle for greasy grub seem so, so, so very far away. So at the Christmas party I was talking to some former library co-workers and one of them, we will call him Jack because that is his name, said he recently spoke to our former manager who has since gone back to graduate school to study ancient Greek something or other. Jack said how he remembered the manager talking about whether the early Greek economy was more free enterprise-esque with interconnected price-making markets or was more in line with the Weber-Hasebroek-Polanyi analysis. (Look it up.) For someone who has as much book-learnin' as I have, I felt rather thick. My days are a Groundhog Day of sippy cups, diapers, formula, carrot stains, laundry, well, you get the picture. I started this blog as a way to use my brain a bit but we are in the early stages so I am not sure it is working yet. And it probably will not work if I just talk about cookies, but that is over now. So I am on a quest to re-smart myself!!! Starting with that last sentence. Brush up on my smarts? Whatever. So now that I am done with my new Christmas tradition of reading this
I am going to read one Classic novel each month over the next year. And if I can manage it, one non-fiction book each month on a topic to be picked by something-I-have-not-thought-of-yet but will not have anything to do with babies or toddlers or kids of any sort.
Now from the department of Why-Staying-Home-Is-Not-So-Bad is this. We went to Mickey and Mooch after the Christmas party. I have never been there before and will not go back. Our first clue that this was a mistake was the wall of fish smell that punched us in the face as soon as we opened the door. Second should have been the 92.0 sanitation score. But we figured, we are just getting a drink and maybe an appetizer so how bad could it be? As soon as we walked into the bar, we noticed they had live music. Now normally I am one to give every artist their props because most have a lot of creativity and courage to get up and out there and show their work, which I probably will not get, or sing in front of people which I will never do not even if karaoke and bottles of wine are involved. That being said, the entertainment for the evening consisted of a Moby look-a-like in a Nordic sweater playing the keyboard and an Al Jarreau look-a-like in a reverse Sprockets turtleneck (tight but a light color) singing. Again, they were out there doing their thing and hopefully getting good money but it felt like we were at the Airport Ramada listening to an American version of The Flight of the Conchords. So there is your setting. Adding to the airport motel lounge experience was a group of about five women ranging in age from mid-20's to mid-40's dancing around in the middle of the bar (where no one was dancing previously) with a guy whose mullet puts the old Billy Ray Cyrus mullet to shame and a slightly over-weight younger Michael Keaton who jokingly tried to steal my friends purse. We did not laugh. Sadly my back was to the dancing but I did get a brief glimpse of mullet man doing the "white man's overbite" with a snap and a woman in her late 50's gently yet freakishly caressing her Cosby-sweater-with-medallion-wearing husband/boyfriend's ear for about 5 minutes. And our waitress sucked. But my company was awesome and I got a blog post that does not have anything to do with cookies out of it, so there's that.
I am going to read one Classic novel each month over the next year. And if I can manage it, one non-fiction book each month on a topic to be picked by something-I-have-not-thought-of-yet but will not have anything to do with babies or toddlers or kids of any sort.
Now from the department of Why-Staying-Home-Is-Not-So-Bad is this. We went to Mickey and Mooch after the Christmas party. I have never been there before and will not go back. Our first clue that this was a mistake was the wall of fish smell that punched us in the face as soon as we opened the door. Second should have been the 92.0 sanitation score. But we figured, we are just getting a drink and maybe an appetizer so how bad could it be? As soon as we walked into the bar, we noticed they had live music. Now normally I am one to give every artist their props because most have a lot of creativity and courage to get up and out there and show their work, which I probably will not get, or sing in front of people which I will never do not even if karaoke and bottles of wine are involved. That being said, the entertainment for the evening consisted of a Moby look-a-like in a Nordic sweater playing the keyboard and an Al Jarreau look-a-like in a reverse Sprockets turtleneck (tight but a light color) singing. Again, they were out there doing their thing and hopefully getting good money but it felt like we were at the Airport Ramada listening to an American version of The Flight of the Conchords. So there is your setting. Adding to the airport motel lounge experience was a group of about five women ranging in age from mid-20's to mid-40's dancing around in the middle of the bar (where no one was dancing previously) with a guy whose mullet puts the old Billy Ray Cyrus mullet to shame and a slightly over-weight younger Michael Keaton who jokingly tried to steal my friends purse. We did not laugh. Sadly my back was to the dancing but I did get a brief glimpse of mullet man doing the "white man's overbite" with a snap and a woman in her late 50's gently yet freakishly caressing her Cosby-sweater-with-medallion-wearing husband/boyfriend's ear for about 5 minutes. And our waitress sucked. But my company was awesome and I got a blog post that does not have anything to do with cookies out of it, so there's that.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
The T-Bonz Krew
I know this has happened to all of you (at least both of you who read this blog). You are sitting in your house on a lovely yet chilly Saturday afternoon when the doorbell rings. You are not expecting anyone so you assume that it is the guy with three fingers on his left hand who sells expensive yet quality pine straw. However when you open the door you get:
"Hi, we were delivering steaks to your neighbor and have a few left in the truck, would you like to buy some steak for $3.00 each?"
Um... yeah, I don't think I buy steaks from trucks! Not anymore. Really? Who does this? And their truck did not even have a store label on it! (because you can always trust trucks with advertisements, oh, and vans especially those beat up cargo vans with blacked out windows but only if they have an adverstisement on the side) So I am thinking there is some sort of new beef crime syndicate that goes around using this "oh, we have extras, you want cheap steak?" scam to sell people poison steak. Some of the more industrious gang members will have a fake steak company or butcher shop sticker on their ride that they can peel off when they are out with their homies because the ladies will not get up on you if you have porterhouse stickers on your wheels. So not only do they get to poison people, the victims actually pay them to do it!!! Granted, not a lot but still. Anyway, they wait and come back to your street around dinner time (same car, no sticker because that would be suspicious) and smell for steaks being cooked on the grill (or inside where people turn up the heat on their stove too much causing the kitchen to smoke up whereupon they open the door to let the steak-scented smoke out into the troposphere and attract deer). Then they mark those houses with chalk, spy style, and come back later after the people have eaten their poisonous steaks (that they paid for!) and are all passed out or paralyzed or dead, depending on what type of poison they used. Then they break into your house and steal your stuff! Why is this not on the news?
"Hi, we were delivering steaks to your neighbor and have a few left in the truck, would you like to buy some steak for $3.00 each?"
Um... yeah, I don't think I buy steaks from trucks! Not anymore. Really? Who does this? And their truck did not even have a store label on it! (because you can always trust trucks with advertisements, oh, and vans especially those beat up cargo vans with blacked out windows but only if they have an adverstisement on the side) So I am thinking there is some sort of new beef crime syndicate that goes around using this "oh, we have extras, you want cheap steak?" scam to sell people poison steak. Some of the more industrious gang members will have a fake steak company or butcher shop sticker on their ride that they can peel off when they are out with their homies because the ladies will not get up on you if you have porterhouse stickers on your wheels. So not only do they get to poison people, the victims actually pay them to do it!!! Granted, not a lot but still. Anyway, they wait and come back to your street around dinner time (same car, no sticker because that would be suspicious) and smell for steaks being cooked on the grill (or inside where people turn up the heat on their stove too much causing the kitchen to smoke up whereupon they open the door to let the steak-scented smoke out into the troposphere and attract deer). Then they mark those houses with chalk, spy style, and come back later after the people have eaten their poisonous steaks (that they paid for!) and are all passed out or paralyzed or dead, depending on what type of poison they used. Then they break into your house and steal your stuff! Why is this not on the news?
So you have 4 pounds of shrimp?
Two days, two glorious shrimp recipes. Last night was Penne with Shrimp and Herbed Cream Sauce http://http//www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/penne-with-shrimp-and-herbed-cream-sauce-recipe/index.html. I did not have most of the ingredients needed, so had to go to the grocery around 5:30pm. I get to the parking lot and it is full. On a Friday night. Granted it is a very busy shopping center but the Teeter is far enough from restaurants and the movie theater so there is usually parking. Not last night. Then I get inside and see why. FREE WINE AND BEER TASTING!! I love Harris Teeter. They do this about two or three times a year and the past few times I chance upon it I have been knocked up. Not any more! There are soooo many vendors with at least three or four wines per table that even someone with a much higher tolerance than me can get a decent buzz. Several years ago my sister and I happened upon this event and spent about two hours getting sloshed, I mean discovering the nuances of different grapes. Then we spent a good hour or two waiting for the buzz to wear off before going home. FREE WINE!!! Sadly this time I had to get back to cook dinner and take care of family. (grumble, grumble, stupid family interfering with FREE WINE!!). My new plan is to find out when the next tasting is going to happen, line up double baby-sitters and schedule a night out for FREE WINE!!
Ok, so back to the pasta, I used 2 lbs of shrimp and did not use as much heavy cream. Next time I will combine everything and then let the whole thing simma down (said like Cheri Oteri) for about 20 minutes like it did while we were eating. Doing that resulted in leftovers that were much better that last night's serving.
Tonight was Potato Soup with Shrimp and Corn http://http//www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/potato-soup-with-shrimp-recipe/index.html. I did use reduced fat milk, well 2%. I doubled the recipe so it took thirty seven thousand hours to prep and cook. Well, maybe more like 45 minutes of prep and 1 hour and 20 minutes of cooking. Once the potatoes are cooked, you can mash them up a bit. With the potato mash you can probably go down to 1% milk and still have a quality soup. I also added a bag of frozen corn to the pot. I did leave out the carrots and put in 1 1/4 cup of chicken broth (because I did not have bouillon) and the leftover clam juice from last nights shrimp dish (about 1/4 of a cup). Also, I sauteed the shrimp in a bit of olive oil, garlic powder and Old Bay seasoning instead of boiling them. Top with a sprinkle of cheddar cheese and bacon bits and you gotta find a mama to slap because it is that good. I think I shall mosey on up to the Fresh Market for some of their kick ass cornbread and eat right for lunch tomorrow!
Last night we watched "Going the Distance" with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. Very, very funny. As the opening credits were rolling, no, even before that, at the menu with the picture of this:
Ok, so back to the pasta, I used 2 lbs of shrimp and did not use as much heavy cream. Next time I will combine everything and then let the whole thing simma down (said like Cheri Oteri) for about 20 minutes like it did while we were eating. Doing that resulted in leftovers that were much better that last night's serving.
Tonight was Potato Soup with Shrimp and Corn http://http//www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/potato-soup-with-shrimp-recipe/index.html. I did use reduced fat milk, well 2%. I doubled the recipe so it took thirty seven thousand hours to prep and cook. Well, maybe more like 45 minutes of prep and 1 hour and 20 minutes of cooking. Once the potatoes are cooked, you can mash them up a bit. With the potato mash you can probably go down to 1% milk and still have a quality soup. I also added a bag of frozen corn to the pot. I did leave out the carrots and put in 1 1/4 cup of chicken broth (because I did not have bouillon) and the leftover clam juice from last nights shrimp dish (about 1/4 of a cup). Also, I sauteed the shrimp in a bit of olive oil, garlic powder and Old Bay seasoning instead of boiling them. Top with a sprinkle of cheddar cheese and bacon bits and you gotta find a mama to slap because it is that good. I think I shall mosey on up to the Fresh Market for some of their kick ass cornbread and eat right for lunch tomorrow!
Last night we watched "Going the Distance" with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. Very, very funny. As the opening credits were rolling, no, even before that, at the menu with the picture of this:
Todd was all "Chick Flick." And at first appearance one would think so. Yeah, not so much. The only thing chick flick about this movie was that there was a guy and a girl and they were dating. That's it. This is not a movie you should watch with your parents. Or your grandparents. Or your kids. Or your kid's parents. Wait, . . . never mind that one. Maybe not even a first date either. Friends, yes. Prudish friends, no. Basically what it boils down to is don't watch it with anyone who is uncomfortable around discussions of a sexual nature. There. That being said, I thought this movie was hilarious and may even buy it. Charlie Day played Justin Long's roomie and friend "Dan" and was a riot. So there is a movie recommendation for you.
P.S. I am not allowed to make Congo Bars any time soon. Unless I have made a prior commitment to deliver 95 to 100% of them to a location that is not my mouth.
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