The T-Bonz Krew

I know this has happened to all of you (at least both of you who read this blog). You are sitting in your house on a lovely yet chilly Saturday afternoon when the doorbell rings. You are not expecting anyone so you assume that it is the guy with three fingers on his left hand who sells expensive yet quality pine straw. However when you open the door you get:

"Hi, we were delivering steaks to your neighbor and have a few left in the truck, would you like to buy some steak for $3.00 each?"

Um... yeah, I don't think I buy steaks from trucks! Not anymore. Really? Who does this? And their truck did not even have a store label on it! (because you can always trust trucks with advertisements, oh, and vans especially those beat up cargo vans with blacked out windows but only if they have an adverstisement on the side) So I am thinking there is some sort of new beef crime syndicate that goes around using this "oh, we have extras, you want cheap steak?" scam to sell people poison steak. Some of the more industrious gang members will have a fake steak company or butcher shop sticker on their ride that they can peel off when they are out with their homies because the ladies will not get up on you if you have porterhouse stickers on your wheels. So not only do they get to poison people, the victims actually pay them to do it!!! Granted, not a lot but still. Anyway, they wait and come back to your street around dinner time (same car, no sticker because that would be suspicious) and smell for steaks being cooked on the grill (or inside where people turn up the heat on their stove too much causing the kitchen to smoke up whereupon they open the door to let the steak-scented smoke out into the troposphere and attract deer). Then they mark those houses with chalk, spy style, and come back later after the people have eaten their poisonous steaks (that they paid for!) and are all passed out or paralyzed or dead, depending on what type of poison they used. Then they break into your house and steal your stuff! Why is this not on the news?