From the mouths and fists of babes . . . .

First off, I finished "It Looked Better On The Model" by Laurie Notaro last night and I maintain that it is one frickin' funny book.  So, there's that.  

From the Department of You-Play-You-Pay, there is this.  You know how when you have a three-year-old and all and they decide they do not want to nap but you know that if they don't then around 3pm until say 8:30pm it is like living with some sort of PTSD-paranoid-schizophrenic-borderline-personality-disorder/multiple-personality-disorder patient who whines and makes the demands of all the terrorists in the world seem reasonable and you are afraid you cannot afford the hospital bills for the severe whiplash you are sure to have after going thru all the mood swings?  Well, that was today.  So at 4:15 I decided to carry the child upstairs for some cooling off.  He ends up falling asleep (and so do I, score!) and we wake up at 6:30pm. Not good.  When he does get a nap, he usually will not go to bed until 9:30 or 10:00 and I am prepared for that.  I usually lay in there with him until he goes to sleep which I feel will end up with him in therapy one day but for now it gets him to sleep without a fit and I figure he will have his own health insurance, hopefully, to cover his mental health bills.  So, after listening to him talk about which upstairs rooms are over which downstairs rooms he says:

"Mommy, did you pick out this house?"

Me:  "Yes, Daddy and I picked it out."

Him:  "Why did you pick out this house?"

Me:  "Well, we liked it."

Him:   . . . . . . 

Him:  "Mommy, where is the house store?"

Awww. . . . ok.  That one was mainly for the fam who reads this.  Then, just to prove he has a bit of my over-active imagination after about 10 minutes of silence I get:

"Mommy, I hear something underneath my ear."

Me:  "You do?"

Him:  "I do."

Me:  "What does it sound like?"
Him:  "Well, it is either an elephant, a snake or . . . an elephant."

Me:  "Uh.  Well, let me listen."

Him:  "Do you hear it?"
Me:  "I hear something."

Him:  "An elephant, a snake or an elephant? . . . . Or, the fan."

Me:  "Yes, I do believe it is the fan." 

Crikey, if he starts saying our a/c fan sounds like a snake I am going to need a prescription for some sleep medicine that will not mess with my dreams.  Thanks kid.

5 minutes later:

Me, whispering oh so softly that it would probably not even be picked up on government spy listening devices:  "Are you awake?"

Him:  "Yes!"

Me:  "Oh, sorry hon, I did not mean to disturb you."

Him, in a voice I believe I have heard on Dateline before:  "I like disturbing YOU, Mommy."

Crap.

5 minutes later, I hear the gentle toddler snores that means I can finally come downstairs and do some house stuff (i.e. mess around on the computer, eat a snack, etc) but before that I got a full-body toddler sleep jerk and got punched in the lip.  At least I hope he was asleep.  

Crazy hair, a funny read and homemade granola bars

So earlier today I was thinking about how sometimes when I am running downstairs and pulling my hair back into a bun/ponytail combo while trying to answer the phone, verbally break up a fight between the boy and the girl and not trip over toys or dogs, I end up with a fabulous up-do without trying or a mirror. But when I need to look all put together (usually just about once a month, well, twice this month what with a family wedding/rehearsal dinner combo) and try to make a fabulous up-do I end up looking like a crazy person who has just removed her finger from an electrical outlet and then got all Tippi Hedron-ed by mockingbirds because they are meanest birds ever. So I tried to find a hairstyle on-line that would reflect this but could not. However I did find this:

Really? That has go to be a piece, right? Even so, she has a pig hair on her head. And if it is her real hair, can you imagine what it took to comb that bitch out? So if you want to see some disturbing hairstyles, Google "crazy hairstyles" and look at the images. Seriously. Do it. I'll wait. . . . . . . Well, maybe not, I have to finish an overdue library book. Some of the images are, for me, stomach churning. Also, if my kids end up coming home with ANY of these on their heads and it is not Halloween, I shall have them wait on the porch and re-greet them with clippers and a picture of a bald Britney Spears as a future deterrent.

So this is the overdue library book that I am reading but I am confident in its hilarity to go ahead and post it before I finish. I have laughed out loud many, many times while reading these essays. Laurie has written several books and I look forward to reading all of them. I did read "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club" a very long time ago and sadly do not remember any of it so I will have to read it again. (Actually, now that I think about it I believe it was "The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing.") If you do not have time to read the whole book, and I know many people do not, buy it / borrow it and read the chapter "You must be my lucky star." You will not be sorry. I really think that even though I have already read it (almost) I am putting it on my Christmas wish list so that I can read this chapter whenever I need to immediately laugh.

So up next is to finish "Not tonight, Honey: Wait 'Til I'm a Size Six" by Susan Reinhardt then to finish "The Winter Rose" by Jennifer Donnelly so that I can read "The Wild Rose" by Jennifer Donnelly.

Also, I made homemade Granola Triangles tonight. I know, I know they sell granola bars at the store. A lot of them. In many flavors. However, I felt the need to make something yummy that the kids would eat and that I would not be tempted to eat even though I froze the left-overs. Yes, I am talking to you yummy delicious oatmeal-chocolate-chip cookies. Also, I have been eating the Fiber One granola bars and the boy always wants me to share and the last thing he needs is more fiber so I decided to make some he can have. So here is the recipe:

Granola Triangles (picture to be posted tomorrow)

2 1/2 cups Rice Krispies (or similar cereal)

2 cups uncooked quick-cooking oats

1/2 cup raisins

Mix together in a large-ish bowl and set aside.

1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup

Bring sugar and syrup to a boil over medium high heat while stirring constantly-ish. I took some breaks. After it is nice and boiled, removed from heat and stir in:

1/2 cup creamy or crunchy peanut butter and

1 tsp vanilla

Pour this mixture over cereal/oat/raisin mixture and stir until everything is nice and coated with yummy peanut butter goodness. Let cool for 10 minutes.

Then stir in:

1/2 cup chocolate chips. I used milk chocolate but I am sure any kind will work well and I plan to use dark chocolate next time.

Grease or Pam spray a 13x9 pan and pour granola mixture into it. Then grease or spray your hands and smush it all down. Then cut into 12 squares and then cut those squares into triangles. They can be stored in an air-tight container for up to a week, if they last that long. Next time I think I will use honey instead of syrup, maybe throw in some almonds, dried fruit, whatever looks good. Oh, and I just saw Nutella in my tags and am so going to make Nutella granola bars next time! Oh! Oh! With toasted coconut and almonds. Mmmmm.....

A day at the spa. . . and some books

Well, not really. But I did use my Groupon for an eyebrow threading. For those of you who have not heard of this (and this was me before I saw the Groupon) they take some thin string and somehow doing a middle-school-Cat's-Cradle-string-trick rip the hair off your face. Yes, it hurts. Some areas LOTS more than others. She pointed out some other areas that needed some clean-up and, like I have said to some, made it seem like my face was the love child of Robin Williams and Sasquatch. When all was said and done, and the redness went away, my face is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Well, almost as smooth. As smooth as a baby's bottom without a diaper rash. And yes, I am currently well versed in the smoothness of the bottom area. Can't wait to be done with that one. Anyway, it is an interesting thing to try and I do look a bit like I had a facial today.

As it has been a while since I have posted, it has also been a long while since I shared my reading experiences. I was on a young adult kick for a while as my brain was really tired and here is what I liked:

Withering Tights by Louise Rennison. I will read a phone book if Louise writes one. She is hilarious and I want to drink pints with her one day. For those familiar with her Georgia Nicholson books, Georgia's cousin Tallulah goes off to spend the summer at a performing arts college. There is the usual teen boy craziness, concerns about ones appearance and level of talent but mostly boys.

Gimme a Call - Sarah Mylnowski. A senior in high school drops her phone in a water fountain and after fishing it out the only person she can call is her freshman self. Lots of changing of the past/future and predictable but funny.

Ten Things We Did - Sarah Mylnowski. Yes, I really like this author. A junior high girl's family decides to move to the mid-west in the middle of the school year and instead of joining them, she convinces her dad to let her stay with a friend. However, she decides to not share with her dad that the friend's mom is on an extended out of town work thing. Almost every high school kid's dream.

First Grave on the Right - Darynda Jones. This is what would happen if Stephanie Plum met The Ghost Whisperer and got a bit raunchy. Well, not raunchy between them but if the two characters, ah, forget it. There is a Ranger type character in here but the dude has a supernatural quality to him. No vampires in this one. I'm sort of over vampires. The main character can see and talk to the departed and needs to convince them to cross over.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs. I read mixed reviews about this one but trusted my gut. I quite enjoyed this book. Some reviewers said there was not enough action and something about writing a first book to build up to a little something at the end so there will be a sequel, blah, blah, blah. While there may not have a been a ton of action, I really liked the writing, the main character, the mystery of it all and a nice twist towards the end. Some of the photos freaked me out but as has been said before, I am a chicken. C.S.I. previews can cause me to have trouble falling asleep. Here is the author's website: http://www.ransomriggs.com/

There are more, but I will do those later.

Jen Lancaster Rocks!

One of the many funny, smart and entertaining people I read is Jen Lancaster. Buy all of her books starting with either "Bitter is the New Black" or "If You Were Here." Actually just read the first one you come across and you will look for the others. If you do not like her sense of humor, chances are you will not like mine. However, she is more comfortable using colorful language and while I use such language in daily conversation with friends (sometimes hourly depending on my mood), I am not quite to the point where I want my mother to read it. From me. Without context. (Hi Mom!) I mean, c'mon people, my Momz provides free child-care help not to mention is more than willing to fall off the healthy wagon and join me in a lovely coffee beverage, waffle or baked good. Cannot go rockin' that boat. No sir.


Anyway, on one of my weekly browsings of blogs, I came across a contest on Jen Lancaster's website http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/ to tell a story in six words and win an advanced copy of her new novel. I had been reading the Bryant and May books and came across a line wherein Bryant describes a co-worker as having "all the charm of a rectal probe." I should not have to tell you that is hilarious and I plan to use in describing many, many people (not you, of course.) My first six word story was going to be "Single octagenarian with charm of colonoscopy." Or something along those lines. I thought it would be funny for a cantankerous pensioner to be on the dating scene but I could not get the words to work. Then I thought "what is some funny stuff I have said or heard from my two year old?" Lots of material there. The one that stood out though was "Luke, quit playing with the breast pump!" And unless you are attached to one, breast pumps are funny. After talking to my Mom about that, she said "What are those things that people use to smoke?" Um, Mom? That would be a bong. (She did grow up in the 1960's and by grow up I'm talking late teens/twenties. Apparently never went around Haight-Ashbury though.) So my submission for Jen Lancaster's contest was "Dude! Breast pump! Not a bong!" So, here is the link for contest where you can read others submissions: http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2011/03/not-a-toilet-and-a-giveaway-but-mostly-not-a-toilet.html I am not sure exactly how many people entered, but I thought around 1200. Anyway, she and her hubby picked my entry!!!! (and someone else's as tie, but whatever) http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2011/04/winner-or-rather-winners.html So I received via Fed Ex (because Jen does not mess around with the postal service, or she has some sort of business account with Fed Ex) an autographed copy of her new novel! She probably should have used a P.O. Box as a return address because now I know where she lives and all and am totally going there on my next vacation. Just kidding. Maybe. I will send a very nice, albeit sort of late, thank you card. And maybe some legal documents to see if she would be honorary Godmother to my two oh-so-loveable dogs. Picture of book and autograph to follow. If you like John Hughes (and I know some of you do), tales of home buying / repair, and just a really good belly chuckle, read "If You Were Here." Maybe with a glass of wine and the soundtrack to "Sixteen Candles" (or I guess just some music from it because apparently you cannot buy the damn thing without a line of credit.)

Blog Fail

So my blog is all "Oh, it's you again is it? Think you can just waltz on in and pick up where we left off, eh? Whatever." If my blog could roll its eyes, it would.

I've read lots and lots since February. The entire Bryant and May series to date by Christopher Fowler. A couple of elderly English detectives solving random crimes. Peculiar crimes if you will. Here is a link to the website: http://www.peculiarcrimesunit.com/ I will note that the first book was a bit hard for me to read because it flips back and forth from 1941 to the present. But maybe that is because I was, and still am, severely sleep-deprived. But since I am all learned and stuff, I figured it out.

I have also read several of the "Pretty Little Liars" books because I need something completely and totally unrelated to my real life as possible and something a little different than murder mysteries. Wait. Murder mysteries WITHOUT teenage angst and references to designer shoes, handbags and makeup. So here's the link to that: http://www.prettylittleliars.com/ And yes, I love the show.

Another good one is "It's All Relative" by Wade Rouse. I have read two of his other books and really enjoyed them. Laugh out loud funny! Although they can get a bit teary. http://www.waderouse.com/content/index.asp

"Shadow Pass" by Sam Eastland is the second in the Inspector Pekkala series. The stories are set in Russia during and after the Russian Revolution. I enjoy the mystery but also the flashbacks to Pekkala's time with Nicholas and Alexandra. http://www.inspectorpekkala.com/

For a very, very, very funny mystery I recommend "Heads You Lose" by Lisa Lutz. She wrote this book with an ex-boyfriend and inspired me to write a relay book with a friend. http://lisalutz.com/ You should also read all of her other books. Anyone who will drop Dr. Who into their story is someone I will support.

On Jen Lancaster's recommendation I read "Skipping a Beat" by Sarah Pekkanen. Thru the first 20 or so pages I did not think I was going to like this book. I thought it was too "girlie" for me. Too much like a Lifetime movie. And maybe it was. But just like those movies, I got sucked in and did not stop reading until I finished it while crying like a three-year old whose Betsy Wetsy just got its head torn off by the bully with a bad haircut. However, unlike a Lifetime movie, I felt I could recommend this without any shame whatsoever. http://www.sarahpekkanen.com/the-books/skipping-a-beat After finishing this at 2am, I needed something that I knew would only make me cry because I was laughing so hard and needed a Poise pad. (Funny side note: while in CVS the other day, my two year old picked up a package of Poise pads, holds them out to me and says "Mommy need diapers?" Not yet, son. Not yet.) The book I chose needs its own special post. Tomorrow.

Pasta, Whiners, Vampires and Jesus

What more could you want from a post? Finally. I am back to doing this. I was afraid it would be another in a long line of half-ass projects I start but never complete. Not yet, at least. I am not ready to add it to my Charleston houses on the Battery cross-stitch, my knitting (bought some stuff, never learned), scrapbooking (have made very slow progress), sewing (not totally my fault, I gave back a borrowed sewing machine, thanks Mom, and have yet to learn on my new one so I guess my fault, damn), and that is all I can think of right now. Give me an hour in my "office" and I'll bet I can come up with more. This time I have good friends giving a heaping dose of "Get off your ass!" so here we are.

Lots to catch up on, but first a simple, yummy recipe for my friend who gave me the "Get off your ass and blog!" nudge today. Mexican Lasagna. This actually came from the best next-door neighbor ever.

1 jar spaghetti sauce (although if you like it saucy, and you know who you are, use 1 1/2 jars)

1 lb ground beef (or you could use ground turkey or ground chicken)

1 can whole kernel corn, drained

4 1/2 tsp chili powder

6 (8 1/2 inch) flour tortillas or the no-need to cook lasagna noodles in a box

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1 can black beans

1 can pinto beans (optional, or you totally could just use different beans and leave out the meat for a veggie version. On that note, if you are a huge veggie fan, you could add a can of diced tomatoes or any other veg that strikes your fancy.)

1 can of refried beans (if you use these, then I would recommend adding them as an additional layer between the noodles and sauce mixture.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Set aside 1 cup of pasta sauce. Brown meat, then drain. Stir in remaining pasta sauce, corn, chili powder and beans.

Spread 1/2 cup of pasta sauce in the bottom of a 13x9 pan. Put down the tortilla shells or pasta noodles, but not too harsh. Heh. Layer half the sauce/meat/veg mixture then 1/3 of the cheese. More noodles, then the rest of the sauce/meat/veg mixture, another layer of cheese, another of noodles, the remaining 1/2 cup of sauce (or more if you have it). Bake for 30 minutes then top with remaining cheese and bake another 10 minutes or until sauce is bubbly and cheese is melted.

Enjoy!

Ok, since I last posted I have read this:

So I was warned that this was not a feel good book. In fact those who recommended it to me said that pretty much everyone in the book is miserable but it was good so I should read it anyway. SPOILER! Stop reading RIGHT NOW if you do not want to know stuff that happens even though I am not going into too much detail. This book broke both of my rules on books - so something bad happens to a kid and a dog. I begrudgingly admit that both were sort of central to the characters, but c'mon. The best part of this book was the unexpected motivation it gave me to get off my butt and do some stuff. Almost all of the characters in the book were whiny little babies about their situation but no one ever did anything about it. Hate your job? Start looking for another one! Even if it takes a while, at least you can say you are doing something about it! So instead of sitting around bitching and moaning about stuff I want to change, I have made small changes here and there and feel pretty good about it. There is only so much one can do with a toddler and a baby, so small changes are good.

and this:

Ok, I love Meg Cabot. Her adult fiction and young adult fiction. But this one? I am wondering if she had some sort of you-have-to-write-a-vampire-novel clause in her contract. The main character was just meh. And she was a crap dog owner. A couple of the supporting characters were good but overall not her best work. I will keep reading her as long as she does not do a sequel to this one.

and am currently re-reading this:

This is by far one of the funniest books I have ever read. Some may be all "oh no! That is sacrilegious!" and to them I say "Have you read it?" To which most would reply "No." Then I would say "Well, my Momz was raised Baptist and is still very much the Christian and she read it and enjoyed it, so there!" And I would probably stick my tongue out Nellie Olson style. The only bad part about this book, and it is not even bad at all, is that it makes me want to put down the other books I have in line to be read and read his other books. And put aside everything I need to do and become a famous author so I can make lots of people laugh, but I will wait since I have Bill Bryson's "At Home" and am doing my one classic novel a month with "Jane Eyre." So I probably should be off to do that. Maybe something funny will happen to Jane? At least it will in my head.

Can I still call it the "12th Day of Christmas Cookies" when it is way past Christmas?

Wow, did I ever drop the ball. I guess I should make it a goal to post one a week then that way if I do more I can be all "Hey! Check me out! I'm posting tons!" Even though it is past Christmas I am going to give ya'll one last goody recipe. This one I made and gave out to family and friends (and kept a bit as it is tasty). Alton Brown's White Trash.

http://http//www.food.com/recipe/alton-browns-white-trash-226723

I used multi-grain Cheerios, 1/2 milk and 1/2 dark chocolate M&Ms, only lightly salted peanuts instead of mixed nuts and added one half of a bag of peanut butter chips to the white chocolate chips. The best part is that after making this, the boy likes to eat the leftover cereal. I also made "Christmas Crack" which is just the saltine/toffee/chocolate recipe and I am wondering if it is called "Christmas Crack" because it is addicting or because it has so much sugar that after you eat some you feel like running 12 miles then cleaning your house with a toothbrush? I'll let you know.

Ok, now let me see if I can come up with a healthy dinner. . . . . . . . (que the Jeopardy theme please) . . . . . . . How about . . . . . Ok, I'll just share what I had tonight. Not really healthy but not terrible either: frozen (then baked) tilapia, leftover Trader Joe's mac and cheese that I mixed up with little green peas so the boy would eat some veg, and a Greek yogurt with honey and sliced toasted almonds. Yikes, that sounds nasty after typing it out. But true.

I finished Christopher Moore's "The Stupidest Angel" for my pre-Christmas read. Ridiculous, funny and I completely forgot about the whole zombie bit but was able to soldier ahead and finish the book without any nightmares (I have a thing about zombies. Don't like 'em. Not even a little bit.) But these zombies were morons. Not that that stopped them from killing people and eating brains, but I was able to give them idiotic faces whilst they were doing so.

Tomorrow is Christmas Part IV so I will be up making the semi-annual dressing and a new mac and cheese recipe.

Why I Should Not Be Allowed Out After 6pm or Why I Need To Get Out More

So the other week I had a rare night out on the town. Maybe not rare, more medium-well. Ha! You get?!?!? Like steak?!? Nevermind. And not so much "out on the town" as over to a former co-worker's house for a Christmas party then to a nearby bar for the after-party. By after-party I mean we got there at 9pm and I was home by 11pm. Makes the days when I did not start getting ready to go out until 10pm then played pool until bars closed at 2am then it was off to Huddle House or the Awful Waffle for greasy grub seem so, so, so very far away. So at the Christmas party I was talking to some former library co-workers and one of them, we will call him Jack because that is his name, said he recently spoke to our former manager who has since gone back to graduate school to study ancient Greek something or other. Jack said how he remembered the manager talking about whether the early Greek economy was more free enterprise-esque with interconnected price-making markets or was more in line with the Weber-Hasebroek-Polanyi analysis. (Look it up.) For someone who has as much book-learnin' as I have, I felt rather thick. My days are a Groundhog Day of sippy cups, diapers, formula, carrot stains, laundry, well, you get the picture. I started this blog as a way to use my brain a bit but we are in the early stages so I am not sure it is working yet. And it probably will not work if I just talk about cookies, but that is over now. So I am on a quest to re-smart myself!!! Starting with that last sentence. Brush up on my smarts? Whatever. So now that I am done with my new Christmas tradition of reading this




I am going to read one Classic novel each month over the next year. And if I can manage it, one non-fiction book each month on a topic to be picked by something-I-have-not-thought-of-yet but will not have anything to do with babies or toddlers or kids of any sort.


Now from the department of Why-Staying-Home-Is-Not-So-Bad is this. We went to Mickey and Mooch after the Christmas party. I have never been there before and will not go back. Our first clue that this was a mistake was the wall of fish smell that punched us in the face as soon as we opened the door. Second should have been the 92.0 sanitation score. But we figured, we are just getting a drink and maybe an appetizer so how bad could it be? As soon as we walked into the bar, we noticed they had live music. Now normally I am one to give every artist their props because most have a lot of creativity and courage to get up and out there and show their work, which I probably will not get, or sing in front of people which I will never do not even if karaoke and bottles of wine are involved. That being said, the entertainment for the evening consisted of a Moby look-a-like in a Nordic sweater playing the keyboard and an Al Jarreau look-a-like in a reverse Sprockets turtleneck (tight but a light color) singing. Again, they were out there doing their thing and hopefully getting good money but it felt like we were at the Airport Ramada listening to an American version of The Flight of the Conchords. So there is your setting. Adding to the airport motel lounge experience was a group of about five women ranging in age from mid-20's to mid-40's dancing around in the middle of the bar (where no one was dancing previously) with a guy whose mullet puts the old Billy Ray Cyrus mullet to shame and a slightly over-weight younger Michael Keaton who jokingly tried to steal my friends purse. We did not laugh. Sadly my back was to the dancing but I did get a brief glimpse of mullet man doing the "white man's overbite" with a snap and a woman in her late 50's gently yet freakishly caressing her Cosby-sweater-with-medallion-wearing husband/boyfriend's ear for about 5 minutes. And our waitress sucked. But my company was awesome and I got a blog post that does not have anything to do with cookies out of it, so there's that.

Avast Ye, Landlubbers!!

I just found out that the folks who so brilliantly brought us "Wallace & Gromit" are making a movie out of "The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!" This just mere hours after I suggested these books! I must have some sort of special power! However I have no idea what it could be and how I can use it to clean my house, get my kids to nap or put some doubloons in the kitty for new windows.

Here is a news bit about it from the author's website: http://http//www.gideondefoe.com/page3.htm

I decided to re-read the books because they make me laugh and am coming up with a list of pirate names that I think I should start signing on my receipts and tax returns. For example, "the pirate with moxy" and "the pirate who sees too much poo." Or, for my Chanukah folks, "the pirate with chutzpah." I am so excited that I am following, in a twitter manner, the director of the film who just posted that they have completed roughly 14 minutes of the movie so far! With any luck my total social security distribution should just about cover the ticket price when the movie comes out. In the meantime, I shall reread the books and eagerly await the next in the series.

In baking news, I made Congo Bars from the Fat Witch cookbook "Brownies, Blondies, and Bars From New York's Legendary Fat Witch Bakery." Since this came from a non-web-based source and I could not find the recipe on-line, I am a little hestitant to reproduce it here what with all the copyright infringement lawsuits flying around. If you would like me to pass it along I would be happy to do so. Verbally, on a secure line or in person under conditions determined at the last minute by me via a prepaid cell phone. There are a lot of versions out there but this one is a graham cracker crust bar, with chocolate chips, milk chocolate chips, coconut and sweetened condensed milk baked to a lovely golden brown. It is a chocolate chip macaroon on a graham cracker crust. Glorious!!! Here is what they look like out of my kitchen:

And here is what it looks like about to be eaten:

I would also like to introduce a new segment that I am calling "Things I Learned from the 'Today Show'." I admit it, I like the Today Show. I find Al Roker hilarious and I believe I heard Meredith say "shit" this morning during a cooking segment with the Barefoot Contessa. Awesome. What I learned today is that with some anti-bacteria cleaners, you have to spray it on a surface then let it sit for 10 minutes before wiping it up! Who knew? I did read the directions and it clearly states to do so on the label, but really, how many of you read the labels for something like a spray cleaner? All this time I was all spray-spray-spray-wipe-wipe-wipe. There are some cleaners with less drying time so I am going to look into that. 10 MINUTES YA'LL! And all this time I thought my boy was sniffly from hanging out in and on germy things at the My Gym.

"Oh, My sides. Please. Aidez-moi."

No cooking today and am between books so I thought I would tell you about this one:

Here is the B&N link: http://http//search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Pirates-In-an-Adventure-with-Scientists/Gideon-Defoe/e/9780375423215/?itm=10

My library buddy Del recommended this to me. It was hi-wait for it......-larious! It was also silly, British, and has very little basis in reality but was brilliant! And the best part? He wrote three more!!!

The covers are charming and the illustrations are just as funny as the writing. If you need a quick funny book, please check these out.