A day at the spa. . . and some books

Well, not really. But I did use my Groupon for an eyebrow threading. For those of you who have not heard of this (and this was me before I saw the Groupon) they take some thin string and somehow doing a middle-school-Cat's-Cradle-string-trick rip the hair off your face. Yes, it hurts. Some areas LOTS more than others. She pointed out some other areas that needed some clean-up and, like I have said to some, made it seem like my face was the love child of Robin Williams and Sasquatch. When all was said and done, and the redness went away, my face is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Well, almost as smooth. As smooth as a baby's bottom without a diaper rash. And yes, I am currently well versed in the smoothness of the bottom area. Can't wait to be done with that one. Anyway, it is an interesting thing to try and I do look a bit like I had a facial today.

As it has been a while since I have posted, it has also been a long while since I shared my reading experiences. I was on a young adult kick for a while as my brain was really tired and here is what I liked:

Withering Tights by Louise Rennison. I will read a phone book if Louise writes one. She is hilarious and I want to drink pints with her one day. For those familiar with her Georgia Nicholson books, Georgia's cousin Tallulah goes off to spend the summer at a performing arts college. There is the usual teen boy craziness, concerns about ones appearance and level of talent but mostly boys.

Gimme a Call - Sarah Mylnowski. A senior in high school drops her phone in a water fountain and after fishing it out the only person she can call is her freshman self. Lots of changing of the past/future and predictable but funny.

Ten Things We Did - Sarah Mylnowski. Yes, I really like this author. A junior high girl's family decides to move to the mid-west in the middle of the school year and instead of joining them, she convinces her dad to let her stay with a friend. However, she decides to not share with her dad that the friend's mom is on an extended out of town work thing. Almost every high school kid's dream.

First Grave on the Right - Darynda Jones. This is what would happen if Stephanie Plum met The Ghost Whisperer and got a bit raunchy. Well, not raunchy between them but if the two characters, ah, forget it. There is a Ranger type character in here but the dude has a supernatural quality to him. No vampires in this one. I'm sort of over vampires. The main character can see and talk to the departed and needs to convince them to cross over.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs. I read mixed reviews about this one but trusted my gut. I quite enjoyed this book. Some reviewers said there was not enough action and something about writing a first book to build up to a little something at the end so there will be a sequel, blah, blah, blah. While there may not have a been a ton of action, I really liked the writing, the main character, the mystery of it all and a nice twist towards the end. Some of the photos freaked me out but as has been said before, I am a chicken. C.S.I. previews can cause me to have trouble falling asleep. Here is the author's website: http://www.ransomriggs.com/

There are more, but I will do those later.

Jen Lancaster Rocks!

One of the many funny, smart and entertaining people I read is Jen Lancaster. Buy all of her books starting with either "Bitter is the New Black" or "If You Were Here." Actually just read the first one you come across and you will look for the others. If you do not like her sense of humor, chances are you will not like mine. However, she is more comfortable using colorful language and while I use such language in daily conversation with friends (sometimes hourly depending on my mood), I am not quite to the point where I want my mother to read it. From me. Without context. (Hi Mom!) I mean, c'mon people, my Momz provides free child-care help not to mention is more than willing to fall off the healthy wagon and join me in a lovely coffee beverage, waffle or baked good. Cannot go rockin' that boat. No sir.


Anyway, on one of my weekly browsings of blogs, I came across a contest on Jen Lancaster's website http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/ to tell a story in six words and win an advanced copy of her new novel. I had been reading the Bryant and May books and came across a line wherein Bryant describes a co-worker as having "all the charm of a rectal probe." I should not have to tell you that is hilarious and I plan to use in describing many, many people (not you, of course.) My first six word story was going to be "Single octagenarian with charm of colonoscopy." Or something along those lines. I thought it would be funny for a cantankerous pensioner to be on the dating scene but I could not get the words to work. Then I thought "what is some funny stuff I have said or heard from my two year old?" Lots of material there. The one that stood out though was "Luke, quit playing with the breast pump!" And unless you are attached to one, breast pumps are funny. After talking to my Mom about that, she said "What are those things that people use to smoke?" Um, Mom? That would be a bong. (She did grow up in the 1960's and by grow up I'm talking late teens/twenties. Apparently never went around Haight-Ashbury though.) So my submission for Jen Lancaster's contest was "Dude! Breast pump! Not a bong!" So, here is the link for contest where you can read others submissions: http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2011/03/not-a-toilet-and-a-giveaway-but-mostly-not-a-toilet.html I am not sure exactly how many people entered, but I thought around 1200. Anyway, she and her hubby picked my entry!!!! (and someone else's as tie, but whatever) http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2011/04/winner-or-rather-winners.html So I received via Fed Ex (because Jen does not mess around with the postal service, or she has some sort of business account with Fed Ex) an autographed copy of her new novel! She probably should have used a P.O. Box as a return address because now I know where she lives and all and am totally going there on my next vacation. Just kidding. Maybe. I will send a very nice, albeit sort of late, thank you card. And maybe some legal documents to see if she would be honorary Godmother to my two oh-so-loveable dogs. Picture of book and autograph to follow. If you like John Hughes (and I know some of you do), tales of home buying / repair, and just a really good belly chuckle, read "If You Were Here." Maybe with a glass of wine and the soundtrack to "Sixteen Candles" (or I guess just some music from it because apparently you cannot buy the damn thing without a line of credit.)

Blog Fail

So my blog is all "Oh, it's you again is it? Think you can just waltz on in and pick up where we left off, eh? Whatever." If my blog could roll its eyes, it would.

I've read lots and lots since February. The entire Bryant and May series to date by Christopher Fowler. A couple of elderly English detectives solving random crimes. Peculiar crimes if you will. Here is a link to the website: http://www.peculiarcrimesunit.com/ I will note that the first book was a bit hard for me to read because it flips back and forth from 1941 to the present. But maybe that is because I was, and still am, severely sleep-deprived. But since I am all learned and stuff, I figured it out.

I have also read several of the "Pretty Little Liars" books because I need something completely and totally unrelated to my real life as possible and something a little different than murder mysteries. Wait. Murder mysteries WITHOUT teenage angst and references to designer shoes, handbags and makeup. So here's the link to that: http://www.prettylittleliars.com/ And yes, I love the show.

Another good one is "It's All Relative" by Wade Rouse. I have read two of his other books and really enjoyed them. Laugh out loud funny! Although they can get a bit teary. http://www.waderouse.com/content/index.asp

"Shadow Pass" by Sam Eastland is the second in the Inspector Pekkala series. The stories are set in Russia during and after the Russian Revolution. I enjoy the mystery but also the flashbacks to Pekkala's time with Nicholas and Alexandra. http://www.inspectorpekkala.com/

For a very, very, very funny mystery I recommend "Heads You Lose" by Lisa Lutz. She wrote this book with an ex-boyfriend and inspired me to write a relay book with a friend. http://lisalutz.com/ You should also read all of her other books. Anyone who will drop Dr. Who into their story is someone I will support.

On Jen Lancaster's recommendation I read "Skipping a Beat" by Sarah Pekkanen. Thru the first 20 or so pages I did not think I was going to like this book. I thought it was too "girlie" for me. Too much like a Lifetime movie. And maybe it was. But just like those movies, I got sucked in and did not stop reading until I finished it while crying like a three-year old whose Betsy Wetsy just got its head torn off by the bully with a bad haircut. However, unlike a Lifetime movie, I felt I could recommend this without any shame whatsoever. http://www.sarahpekkanen.com/the-books/skipping-a-beat After finishing this at 2am, I needed something that I knew would only make me cry because I was laughing so hard and needed a Poise pad. (Funny side note: while in CVS the other day, my two year old picked up a package of Poise pads, holds them out to me and says "Mommy need diapers?" Not yet, son. Not yet.) The book I chose needs its own special post. Tomorrow.

Pasta, Whiners, Vampires and Jesus

What more could you want from a post? Finally. I am back to doing this. I was afraid it would be another in a long line of half-ass projects I start but never complete. Not yet, at least. I am not ready to add it to my Charleston houses on the Battery cross-stitch, my knitting (bought some stuff, never learned), scrapbooking (have made very slow progress), sewing (not totally my fault, I gave back a borrowed sewing machine, thanks Mom, and have yet to learn on my new one so I guess my fault, damn), and that is all I can think of right now. Give me an hour in my "office" and I'll bet I can come up with more. This time I have good friends giving a heaping dose of "Get off your ass!" so here we are.

Lots to catch up on, but first a simple, yummy recipe for my friend who gave me the "Get off your ass and blog!" nudge today. Mexican Lasagna. This actually came from the best next-door neighbor ever.

1 jar spaghetti sauce (although if you like it saucy, and you know who you are, use 1 1/2 jars)

1 lb ground beef (or you could use ground turkey or ground chicken)

1 can whole kernel corn, drained

4 1/2 tsp chili powder

6 (8 1/2 inch) flour tortillas or the no-need to cook lasagna noodles in a box

2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

1 can black beans

1 can pinto beans (optional, or you totally could just use different beans and leave out the meat for a veggie version. On that note, if you are a huge veggie fan, you could add a can of diced tomatoes or any other veg that strikes your fancy.)

1 can of refried beans (if you use these, then I would recommend adding them as an additional layer between the noodles and sauce mixture.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Set aside 1 cup of pasta sauce. Brown meat, then drain. Stir in remaining pasta sauce, corn, chili powder and beans.

Spread 1/2 cup of pasta sauce in the bottom of a 13x9 pan. Put down the tortilla shells or pasta noodles, but not too harsh. Heh. Layer half the sauce/meat/veg mixture then 1/3 of the cheese. More noodles, then the rest of the sauce/meat/veg mixture, another layer of cheese, another of noodles, the remaining 1/2 cup of sauce (or more if you have it). Bake for 30 minutes then top with remaining cheese and bake another 10 minutes or until sauce is bubbly and cheese is melted.

Enjoy!

Ok, since I last posted I have read this:

So I was warned that this was not a feel good book. In fact those who recommended it to me said that pretty much everyone in the book is miserable but it was good so I should read it anyway. SPOILER! Stop reading RIGHT NOW if you do not want to know stuff that happens even though I am not going into too much detail. This book broke both of my rules on books - so something bad happens to a kid and a dog. I begrudgingly admit that both were sort of central to the characters, but c'mon. The best part of this book was the unexpected motivation it gave me to get off my butt and do some stuff. Almost all of the characters in the book were whiny little babies about their situation but no one ever did anything about it. Hate your job? Start looking for another one! Even if it takes a while, at least you can say you are doing something about it! So instead of sitting around bitching and moaning about stuff I want to change, I have made small changes here and there and feel pretty good about it. There is only so much one can do with a toddler and a baby, so small changes are good.

and this:

Ok, I love Meg Cabot. Her adult fiction and young adult fiction. But this one? I am wondering if she had some sort of you-have-to-write-a-vampire-novel clause in her contract. The main character was just meh. And she was a crap dog owner. A couple of the supporting characters were good but overall not her best work. I will keep reading her as long as she does not do a sequel to this one.

and am currently re-reading this:

This is by far one of the funniest books I have ever read. Some may be all "oh no! That is sacrilegious!" and to them I say "Have you read it?" To which most would reply "No." Then I would say "Well, my Momz was raised Baptist and is still very much the Christian and she read it and enjoyed it, so there!" And I would probably stick my tongue out Nellie Olson style. The only bad part about this book, and it is not even bad at all, is that it makes me want to put down the other books I have in line to be read and read his other books. And put aside everything I need to do and become a famous author so I can make lots of people laugh, but I will wait since I have Bill Bryson's "At Home" and am doing my one classic novel a month with "Jane Eyre." So I probably should be off to do that. Maybe something funny will happen to Jane? At least it will in my head.

Can I still call it the "12th Day of Christmas Cookies" when it is way past Christmas?

Wow, did I ever drop the ball. I guess I should make it a goal to post one a week then that way if I do more I can be all "Hey! Check me out! I'm posting tons!" Even though it is past Christmas I am going to give ya'll one last goody recipe. This one I made and gave out to family and friends (and kept a bit as it is tasty). Alton Brown's White Trash.

http://http//www.food.com/recipe/alton-browns-white-trash-226723

I used multi-grain Cheerios, 1/2 milk and 1/2 dark chocolate M&Ms, only lightly salted peanuts instead of mixed nuts and added one half of a bag of peanut butter chips to the white chocolate chips. The best part is that after making this, the boy likes to eat the leftover cereal. I also made "Christmas Crack" which is just the saltine/toffee/chocolate recipe and I am wondering if it is called "Christmas Crack" because it is addicting or because it has so much sugar that after you eat some you feel like running 12 miles then cleaning your house with a toothbrush? I'll let you know.

Ok, now let me see if I can come up with a healthy dinner. . . . . . . . (que the Jeopardy theme please) . . . . . . . How about . . . . . Ok, I'll just share what I had tonight. Not really healthy but not terrible either: frozen (then baked) tilapia, leftover Trader Joe's mac and cheese that I mixed up with little green peas so the boy would eat some veg, and a Greek yogurt with honey and sliced toasted almonds. Yikes, that sounds nasty after typing it out. But true.

I finished Christopher Moore's "The Stupidest Angel" for my pre-Christmas read. Ridiculous, funny and I completely forgot about the whole zombie bit but was able to soldier ahead and finish the book without any nightmares (I have a thing about zombies. Don't like 'em. Not even a little bit.) But these zombies were morons. Not that that stopped them from killing people and eating brains, but I was able to give them idiotic faces whilst they were doing so.

Tomorrow is Christmas Part IV so I will be up making the semi-annual dressing and a new mac and cheese recipe.

Day 11 of the 12 Days of Christmas Cookies - Short on Bread Shortbread

So here are today's cookies, Short on Bread Shortbread, just out of the oven:

Looks good, right? Clancy and Biggie think so too because they are doggie cookies! This recipe is from the Three Dog Bakery cookbook.

1/2 cup honey

1/4 cup vegetable shortening

2 tsp vanilla

2 cups flour

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Mix all together then drop onto cookie sheet about the size of a golf ball. Flatten slightly (I did a sassy criss-cross). Bake until slightly golden brown (mine were kind of small so they were done in about 16 minutes). The recipe says about 20 to 24 minutes. Cool then let your best pal enjoy! Since you don't get to eat cookies (although I guess you could), I feel that I deserve a night off from the healthy dinner bit. I am tired and have more baking to do.

But first I forgot to tell you about the amazing book I read: Major Pettigrew's Last Stand by Helen Simonson.

http://http//search.barnesandnoble.com/Major-Pettigrews-Last-Stand/Helen-Simonson/e/9780812981223/?itm=1&USRI=major+pettigrew%27s+last+stand

It was a wonderful novel about an older English widower who falls for the local Pakistani shopkeeper (widow). The book focuses on his reaction to these feelings, how the local villagers react to this relationship and the relationship between him and his social climbing son. The Major is a bit of a curmudgeon but has a lovely dry, sarcastic wit that I am all about. It took me about a week and a half to finish because I loved the writing and did not want it to end. I really enjoyed it and by the looks of the wait list at the library it is becoming quite popular. If you are bored by all things British, you probably want to pass on this one. It was a light old-fashioned romantic comedy with some splashes of drama.